So Bethie and I had a vacation planned to the Mexican region of North America. At first the plan was to go to Cabo, but then we changed that plan and went to the Cozumel island instead on account of all those creatures they got down there underneath their waters. It was fantastic.

The trip all came together at fairly the last minute. On a Saturday, we went to a friend’s wedding at a Greek church, and then a reception at a non-Greek Hilton. Few to no togas, fraternity members, columns or discussions of democracy. But they did have this whole big spread of Greek desserts that all the family and friends had put together. Oh bah gosh. That was a highlight.

We woke up early Sunday morning and took to the skies. We flew to Cancun. (A pleasant, short flight.) We tracked down the bus to Playa Del Carmen ($8 a person, about an hour’s drive.) We waited at the touristy restaurant by the pier (For about an hour.) We took the ferry to Cozumel. ($12 a person, a 45 minute trip.) We took the cab to the hotel.

We stayed at the Presidente Intercontinental Hotel and Resort and Snorkeling Facility and Iguana Refuge. It was super-nice. Our week consisted mostly of doing dives and reading books. At one point we headed to the MEGA to stock up on snacks and beers and get a styrofoam cooler. At another point we went to a really good seafood place for ahora de comida. We had a giant shrimp ceviche and a fried fish.

The key takeaway was that we think Cozumel might become our go-to vacation destination. It’s beautiful, and tropical, and kind of quiet and somewhat easy to get to.

We came back on Saturday and thanked my parents for having stuck around to watch the dog.

Working lots. It gets a little overwhelming at times.

Friday night we had our pizza party like we do.

Saturday morning we went to the dentist and had to get some teeth drilled. I was telling Bethie how it’s all a big scam and there was really nothing wrong with my teeth. She is BFF’s with the dentist, though, so she wasn’t trying to hear all that. But then, when the dentist was drilling on her teeth, she flipped out and got real mad at her because of an exposed nerve or something.

I didn’t like that, because I was new to this whole tooth-drilling scene, having never had a cavity before. But my procedure went smoothly and didn’t hurt. Afterwards, we went shopping at the Macy’s. The Macy’s benefited on that day, by being located conveniently next door to the dentists.

Then we went home and did our walk with the dog. He’s old, but he still loves to cruise around the park.

Then we watched some dumb Christmas movies.

Then I went out and had some beers.

Sunday, we did our walk, and then I left with James to go see the futuristic motorcycle stuntman show.

James works for the production company that puts the show on, so he had free tickets. It seems that in the future there was a nucular war, and the only people that survived were motorcycle stuntmen and exotic dancers. So they have to challenge one another to doing motorcycle flips off of ramps while fireballs explode all around, and then the exotic dancers have to fake-shove one another and do pole dances. In the end, <SPOILER ALERT> they realize they are not so different, the rival motorcycle gangs, so they join forces to become the “Nuclear Cowboyz!”

Afterwards, I had to go to the Starbucks across from the arena to contemplate this bleak future world, and wait for Bethie to come pick me up. Then we went to celebrate her uncle’s birthday with some tequila and sausages.

Despite Kansas’ bad finish, I came one game away from winning the office pool. Go figure.

This weekend…

Bethie and I had dinner at Mado on Friday night. Bethie and I went to Tereasa’s book party on Saturday night. I went with James to this place for brunch on Sunday. Last night I boiled turkey legs in 7-UP and then put them on the grill.

Sick of it all! I don’t want NOBODY to win the tournament now. I want them all to perish! This is why we need a BCS system instead of this flawed bracketing system.

My biggest concern now is I can’t figure out who I want to succeed less. If I had to rank them, I think I’d go:

5. DUKE
4. Kentucky
3. K-State
2. K-State
1. K-State

And I suppose the teams I least dislike to win it would be Xavier, Baylor and maybe UNI. But UNI is an ugly team - not just in terms of their play - also appearance-wise. They look like a bunch of meth addicts.

After the loss, Bethie and I went to play in a charity beer pong tournament at a place called “Uncle Fatty’s Rum Resort.” Look out Señors Buffet and Hagar, the beach-themed sports bar landscape just got a little more crowded.

So, I’m not one of those “germ-y” types that complains when stuff is disgusting, but I was pretty surprised there weren’t some of those types at this thing, because it was utterly gross. “Hey, we’re all strangers, right? Let’s take turns drinking beer out of the same plastic cups! Oh, did you drop your ping pong ball on the disgusting beer and dirt-covered floor? That’s ok, because you can just rinse it off in this cup of water. A cup of water!”

Well, Bethie and I managed to make it farther in this tournament than KU made it in theirs. Until the third round, when we ran into the Big-10 college equivalent of these guys. This one fella thought he was going pro in beer pong, and his teammate was the only member of his entourage.

Also, we picked up our new car this weekend and it is SHARP!

So myself along with most of the country will have KU written down at the center of their bracket come tip-off on Thursday. And that’s despite the fact that most experts agree, the Jayhawks are in a tough region stacked with talented teams. Longtime basketballing enthusiast Andy Bardsley disagrees with that assessment however, citing how incredibly good KU is and how all of those other good teams are going to be gutting one another on their way to play us. Let his confidence be an inspiration to us all.

After the first round, I think KU easily handles Northern Iowa, who won’t be able to deal with the athleticism and range of scoring options. (BTW, Jim P says it’s UNI and not NIU. Remember that when filling out your bracket.)

Then, it’ll get tricky. In order for this to be a championship run, I feel like KU has got to dominate in the Sweet Sixteen rematch with Michigan State. If they can win by 15 or have the game secured with five minutes left on the clock, it should be a pretty good confidence booster. If they struggle at the start of the weekend they might not have the momentum to turn around and face the better Big-10 team, Ohio State.

On the other side of it, I feel like KSU practically got a walk into the Final Four. As such, that matchup with KU - the fourth in the season - will be a tired affair, but I think the Jayhawks continue their season-long domination.

So with everyone betting heavy on the (rock) chalk, one has to get creative if one wants to lock up the early round points needed to ultimately prevail in the bracket contest. As such, I’ve made some BOLD MOVES.

Like for instance, no 16 seed will ever beat a 1 seed…

Well, what if Vermont puts down Syracuse? (BOLD MOVES.) Syracuse comes stumbling into the tournament having lost a couple of games at the end of the season… with an injured center on a team that bases their offense on frontcourt scoring… playing in a region out in the middle of nowhere… playing against a Vermont team that handed them an upset not 5 years ago in the tournament. It’s a tall order, but I think this is probably the best chance for a 1-16 upset ever.

More BOLD MOVES. Kentucky is immature and untested. Maybe they make it past the Sweet Sixteen, but I say they don’t make it past the second round. (BOLD. MOVES!) Texas rallies to prove just how much stronger the Big 12 is than the SEC this year. But ultimately, the very hot West Virginia team makes it to the Final Four and then on to the championship game.

Also, Duke makes the Final Four, but that’s not a BOLD MOVE… they also got a pretty easy path handed to them.

So that’s how I see this thing shaking out. I’m sure that the more casual observer, like Dave, will have based his bracket analysis on what colors the jerseys are or which coach he thinks has the nicest hair, but the real pro bracketisticians like me are looking at the numbers behind the numbers and spending an equal amount of time scrutinizing the X’s and then scrutinizing the O’s, as opposed to doing the less thorough job of scrutinizing them both at the same time.

Check back in three weeks to find out how much money I’ve won.

Friday found us venturing out to Oak Park to take a gander at what they got at the Volvo dealership. We’re in the market for a new car, and a cool Volvo SUV is what we’ve got our eyes on. So we look at the fancy new cars, and consider their fancy new prices, but are affirmed that it’s the right car for us. The salesguy told us about this incredible deal where you could custom-order your car, and the Volvo people would fly you to Sweden and put you up in a hotel for a night, and give you a tour of the factory and hand over your car. Then, you can drive it around Europe for as long as you like and when you’re done you can drop it off anywhere and they’ll ship it back to America for you… plus it’s 7% cheaper than buying it here. That sounds like the deal of a lifetime… and what a way to get somebody to love their car. We both figure we’re not quite there yet, but we will be eventually.

So next, we went to the Carmax to see what Bethie’s car is worth. It turns out, it’s worth a good amount. It also turns out that a used Volvo is much more affordable. We’ve picked out a couple online that we like, and we’re thinking next weekend we might pull the trigger on something.

Bethie tells me that Saturday was not St. Patrick’s Day, but that doesn’t really matter because I don’t typically celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I spent the day at home, watching some basketball.

Speaking of basketball, I’ve been trying to make a habit out of small-stakes wagering on games to keep me interested in other teams besides Kansas. This weekend, I started with $10 in my account and finished up today with $46. I bet $1 on one 4-team parlay and hit it. (Like I said, small stakes.)

I’ll be providing a full rundown of the college basketball scene shortly, when I do “Bracketistics 456: Advanced Predictions and Outcomes…” But let me tell you, this is the time of year for BOLD MOVES and I’ve got a couple of them.

Today we went out for brunch with Bethie’s parents at David Burke’s Primehouse, and who happened to be there but Celebrity Chef David Burke himself. And who happened to do a tableside preparation of my dish for me but Celebrity Chef David Burke himself. He said he got up at five this morning to fly in just to make me some sauteed fruit. The brunch menu was set up as different bento boxes, and I ordered the “mystery box” and told the waitress I didn’t want to know what was in it. I think he thought that was weird. I bet he expected people to ask before they ordered. But regardless, it was a hit. It had some little enchilada casserole thing with lobster, a bit of shortrib and an awesome terrine of foie-gras with toast points and the stewed fruit. Plus I managed to eat a good bit of Bethie’s too. Cheers to you, David Burke.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is the name of the videogame I’ve been playing lately. It’s also the only videogame I think I ever want to play ever again. It’s a shooting game where you run around trying to kill the other players over the online. The more you play the more points you get and the more points you get the more super-points you get until you get all the way up to 70 points. At first, I thought this was pretty stupid.

“Who has the time to get up to 70 of these points?!” I thought.

Now I’ve got 58 of them.

Probably because I play every night for at least an hour but more like 2 hours. I am going to get all 70 of those points. And just the other day I found out that once you’ve got the 70 points, you can reset your whole game and start all over in exchange for one SUPER-super-point called a “Prestige” point. There are a maximum of 10 of those that you can get.

Soon they are going to make some new maps and oh how pleased that will make me. Don’t get me wrong; the current maps are great, but I’m ready for new ones. I think my favorite map is the airport terminal, or maybe the grimy city one.

The only thing I don’t like about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is how long the name is. Technically speaking, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is really “Call of Duty 6″ but it’s called Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and that’s a real mouthful, you know?

I can’t wait to go home tonight and play. Maybe Dave will be online and I will beat him soundly - as I normally do - because he only has about 40 of those super-points. Him playing against me is an absurd mismatch like a baby bunny trying to attack a full-grown human.

So this weekend we got away from it all with a Polark family trip to fabulous Las Vegas. Oh the fun that we did have! We gamed. We shopped. We took in the show We dined. We relaxed and reflected.

Key Takeaways:
- This new Elvis Cirque du Soleil show… it ain’t all that. In fact, most of us agreed it was only close to being some of that, and far from being all that. Mostly just a big Las Vegas stage show without as much crazy French Circus-y stuff like we’ve come to expect.
- Ate at Bobby Flay restaurant again, and again this was the best meal we had.
- I finally learned the rudiments of craps and I am so proud of myself - probably because it only cost Jim P about $100 for me to get the hang of it.

Last night I went with Kyle and Barnicle to a hog-butchering lesson from a local chef. It started a little like a Satanic ritual, with us all taking seats around a kitchen table loaded with half a hog. But the chef quickly got to work explaining to us how pigs work and breaking it down… telling us how to cook what parts and so forth. And we all stood up and watched and asked questions. I asked tons of questions I didn’t even expect to have. We got to take home some different cuts at the end, and now we’re game-planning buying our own half of a consciously-raised, hormone-free boutique hog.

At least once a winter I try to make it out to the Northern edges of civilization to engage in some brisk wintersport activity. This weekend, we headed to dear ol’ Wandawega for fun and sun and snow and ice.

I had volunteered to help Kyle in the preparation of enchiladas for a dinner, so Friday night I stayed up late frying pork and roasting peppers. Bethie was unpleased with the smells, but she got over it. Saturday morning she hatched a little plan whereby she could ditch me and go shopping at the outlet malls, so Kyle was nice enough to drive me and John up there.

We hit that ice running…

10:00 AM - Biscuits and gravy courtesy of Mary and Alexei followed by a snowmobiling tutorial with Dave.

11:00 AM - Snowmobiling, followed by snowmobiling, followed by more snowmobiling, followed by riding the ATV’s on the frozen lake, followed by snowmobiling, followed by throwing snowballs at other people snowmobiling followed (briefly) by ice-skating.

2:30 PM - Exploratory committee formed to evaluate the strengths of various sledding spots around the premises. We settled on the 4-wheeler path up into the trees. Initial testing concludes that a large ramp would be needed at the bottom of sledding hill.

3:00 PM - With the aid of two snow shovels, a trashcan full of water and a bottle of whiskey, work commences on our snow ramp.

4:00 PM - Construction of the “That Guy That Died Doing Luge At The Olympics Commemorative Snow Jump” is officially unveiled - most of the whiskey is gone.

6:00 PM - As with most wintersport days, by the time the jump is officially finished, the sun is setting and we are all pretty wiped out. We freshen up a little bit and get the oven heated up for Noche de Enchiladas! While we wait, we pass the time playing left-right-center and Bethie and I cleaned up at that.

8:00 PM - Enchilada night goes off without a hitch. I was kind of nervous because I had really thrown mine together of the top of my head. I was actually writing down what I was doing as I was doing it so I’d be sure not to forget a step, but they turned out really great. I made a carnitas-style pork enchilada with red sauce and a roasted green chile, spinach and cheese enchilada with a sour cream and green sauce. The roasted chile one turned out SO good.

I was also nervous that I’d be facing some stiff competition with Kyle filling the other half of the enchilada order, but when he offered up enchiladas rolled with flour tortillas my trepidation eased a little bit. They were great - don’t get me wrong - but flour?! Come on, now.

10:00 PM - We make one last check of our snow jump and sled down that hill at night. Then we were officially done with our day of wintersport.

Sunday morning, Bethie and I return to the city and meet up with her dad for lunch. First we stopped at the Alcala’s so her dad could by a sensible pair of cowboy boots. Then we had a late lunch/brunch at this place Branch 27. I like this place a lot, and I really want to get in there for dinner sometime. Lots of local/organic this and that but cooked up big and rustic. I had the braised goat.

Last night, Bethie and I celebrated our Valentine’s at One Sixty Blue. One Sixty Blue is a restaurant right next to our gym and it’s owned by Michael Jordan. The food is very good. The fact that we went on a Monday night meant that no one was there. And I mean NO ONE. We were the only people in the dining room for the first half hour of our meal. I hope Michael Jordan has some money stashed away somewhere, because I don’t know if he’s gonna survive off of those kind of turnouts.

I didn’t care for them. I don’t think I cared for the whole lot of them. And please don’t tell me your opinions of them, because I could care even less about that. I think this whole “Super Bowl commercials” thing is yesterday’s news. I bet they don’t even run commercials for next years.

Also, did anybody catch the premier of Undercover Boss? A show about a bunch of dopes working at the trash factory that don’t realize the soft-handed old white guy who is followed around by a camera crew is either their very own CEO or some sort of sex offender? Another big win, CBS!

On Saturday, Bethie and I went to the dentist. Our first trip to the dentist together as husband and wife. We did the honorable thing by waiting to go to the dentist together until we were married. The dentist could not get over how nice my teeth were. She said I had deep roots and they’d probably be hard to get out. She also said Bethie’s weren’t as good on account of the soft bristled toothbrush she uses. (Not true.)