I didn’t care for them. I don’t think I cared for the whole lot of them. And please don’t tell me your opinions of them, because I could care even less about that. I think this whole “Super Bowl commercials” thing is yesterday’s news. I bet they don’t even run commercials for next years.
Also, did anybody catch the premier of Undercover Boss? A show about a bunch of dopes working at the trash factory that don’t realize the soft-handed old white guy who is followed around by a camera crew is either their very own CEO or some sort of sex offender? Another big win, CBS!
On Saturday, Bethie and I went to the dentist. Our first trip to the dentist together as husband and wife. We did the honorable thing by waiting to go to the dentist together until we were married. The dentist could not get over how nice my teeth were. She said I had deep roots and they’d probably be hard to get out. She also said Bethie’s weren’t as good on account of the soft bristled toothbrush she uses. (Not true.)
Is nowhere in sight, you dummies!!! We are not even NEAR the end! I am gonna be killing this blogging game in 2010 and well beyond!
Last night Kyle and I went for Mexican and the Bulls game. Kyle doesn’t drink during his holy month of February, but that doesn’t preclude him from having a good time - albeit at a slower, booze-craving pace. The game was terrible, but the halftime antics were on point. We witnessed the Argentinean acrobatics of “Perch Pole.” They thrilled and dazzled. We saw a guy who seemingly didn’t know the rules of Tic-Tac-Toe. We were driven to the brink of rage by the people who couldn’t get the suitcases open in the “Guess the Suitcase” game.
My wife got a new job finally. Which is great news for our bank account, but terrible news for our lonely, lonely dog.
Large Amounts of Food We’ve Cooked So That We Could Eat It Throughout The Week:
-Potato-Leek Soup (Twice)
-Chili
-Spaghetti Sauce
-Chicken Casserole Thing
Called the “Triple Chocolate Chewies” that we just started buying recently. Let me tell you, I don’t know what we as a culture have been doing making all these other kinds of cookies over the past couple hundred years. If we had just started off with these chewy cookies, that’d be it. Job done. Everybody could just go get on with their lives. They could get back to spending time with their wife and kids instead of slaving away at the cookie lab trying to come up with some new cookie recipe that no one would like - working on the weekends trying to invent some new kind of cookie that nobody wants or even needs.
Look, I guess what I am saying is, I really like these cookies and I pity all other cookies by comparison. I’m going to eat several of them when I get home.
What is going on with Kansas basketball? I will tell you what is going on with Kansas basketball. We got a bunch of individuals running around out there and they are not playing as a team. They are not looking for the extra bounce pass. Their bounce pass proficiency rating (BPP) is through the floor.
That Tennessee game reminded me of the 2008 Oklahoma State game, when I thought to myself “Well, I guess no national championship this year.” So maybe that’ll work out for the best.
At this point, I’ve got the feeling Kentucky might go undefeated in the regular season given the rest of their schedule. That’s a good and a bad thing, as they’ll get seeded really well, but I bet they’re not up to the task as they get deep into the tournament.
The Big 12 was supposed to be the Big East of last year, but it’s not quite shaping up like that. I think the competition at the top should be fierce enough to prepare us for tournament play though. I think the top of the Big Ten looks tough as well.
Sherron Collins gets my Hi-Five All-Star Hustle Award for Hard-Hitting Hoops Hexcellence.
Sherron Collins is incredible and essential. He is the best point guard in the country but he’s also the only point guard I watch play. He cuts the floor up, he draws all kinds of fouls, he hits gigantic threes. Sometimes he puts the whole team on his back and wins the game, but sometimes he puts the whole team on his back and misses all his shots in the last four minutes and it’s embarrassing - like in the Tennessee game. They can’t rely on him to bail them out every game. He’s a great player, but not that great.
Cole Aldrich is averaging a double-double, but that’s a surprise to me. I guess it’s nice to have his 10 rebounds a game, but he’s got to get the ball in the post and start knocking some people over. Especially when we’re playing against teams with no size. He also seems lost on defense. Is he taking a step back?
The Morris twins also need to play bigger. It’s nice that they can hit threes sometimes, but they probably shouldn’t be. We’ve got shooters, we need bangers. Perimeter shooting should rarely be the deciding factor.
Tyshawn Taylor could be my second favorite player if he would just figure his shit out. He complained the other day that he didn’t know what his role was. Somebody needs to tell him his role can be whatever he wants it to be. For now, he could focus on distributing the ball. He can continue getting stronger and better at slashing to the basket. He should keep playing good D and force turnovers. He should pay close attention to Sherron this season and step up next year to lead the team and forget about the NBA for another year.
I wish Xavier could/would take over games and take pressure off of Collins, but he still seems like a role player. Elijah Johnson is only going to get better.
Crack open the fortune cookie, because it’s time for my Psychic Mid-Season Final Four Prediction:
I like Michigan State, Texas, Kansas and Duke. (but also Kentucky, Syracuse and Villanova.)
Bethie and I went to visit there over the holiday break. It was so fun. Last year we went skiing and that was fun, but this was a different kind of weird, desolate, nature-filled patriotic fun. We left Kansas and drove up into Nebraska and then on into the great nothingness that is the middle of our country. We inadvertently stopped at an indian reservation for gas. That was a depressing place. We drove through the starkest, brownest hills on the loneliest highway, and then we drove on the loneliest interstate. We pulled into the frontier metropolis of Rapid City and secured lodging at the local Holiday Inn. We also stopped at a frontier petsmart to get the dog a sweater because it was cold. But this truly was the frontier, as that store had no sweaters that would fit our dog. So we got him one from the frontier Target.
The next day we lit out early to see the Mt. Rushmore. We fretted over what to do with the dog, ultimately deciding to bring him with us and park the car in the sun so he’d stay warm. It worked out great and he seemed really happy to be getting to see some of this great land of ours.
There were very few people at Mt. Rushmore and there were some mountain goats chewing grass by the parking garage. We took pictures of them. I think the most interesting thing about Mt. Rushmore is all the unfinished plans. The sculptures were supposed to be more finished or placed in different positions and there was supposed to be a hall of records carved into the mountain. I like bold plans.
Which brings us to our next sightseeing stop, The Crazyhorse Memorial. I had told Bethie about it but didn’t convey to her the fact that it was a work-in-progress. She was disappointed with the seeming lack of activity, but was excited to return in 50 years and see how it’s shaping up.
Next we went to the Wind Cave, but we just missed the tour. We had stopped a couple too many times to take pictures of animals. So we went to the town of Hot Springs and had a lunch. We returned to the cave for the three o’clock tour. The tour starts with the guy going “Ok, what do you think of when you think of caves? Cool stalactites and huge crystal formations? Well, you won’t be seeing that here. This one is mostly rocks - but there’s a lot of them!” And there was! It was still pretty cool, a short tour looking at tiny crystal formations and turn-of-the-century graffiti.
We returned to our Holiday Inn accommodations and soaked in their frontier hot tubs for a while. Then we treated ourselves to Rapid City’s take on Italian food. It was pretty good.
The next morning, we woke up early for the fourteen hour drive home, detouring down the Badlands scenic byway. We were supposed to stop at the visitor center to pay them $15, but we didn’t really look at enough stuff to justify the cost.
I drove most of the rest of the way home, listening to an audiobook, while Bethie watched episodes of Weeds on her iphone and the dog dozed in the backseat. We got home around nine and rung in the New Year with a toast of beer and the assembly of our new vacuum cleaner.
So we get off the speedboat and we’re no longer living in luxury. We get hustled by cab people. All of them. We can’t catch a break, so we wind up paying this guy somewhere around $20 to drive us to our next resort. These were Chicago cab prices! But these guys all got a racket going because none of their cabs are regulated or have meters and negotiations are tough.
We drive over the hill, we drive through the town, we drive past the beach, we drive up another hill and then we’re at the resort. They seem surprised to see us. They scramble around and find our reservation. They bring us chilled, cut open coconuts as our “welcome drink.” This is not at all Bethie’s speed. I drink mine, even though I don’t like it all that much. They get the paperwork settled and offer to show us some room options. This place was also all individual villas, but they were a little more rustic. To get around, you ride on this tiny truck that zig zags up and down the cliff. Everything is real tropical with plants and vines everywhere. The first option is nice, closer to the top of the hill with a tiny hot-tub outside of it. It’s the more expensive one. We go with the one we had booked which is at the bottom of the hill by the pools. The whole place is fronting like it’s “eco-friendly” but that’s just a gussied up excuse for being cheap. In the room, you have to plug your key in to get the electricity and AC to come on.
So Bethie is simply not feeling any of this. I’m not either and I’m a little bit panicked. But we’ve got to get into town to meet with the diveshop so we can set up our scuba training. You’ll remember that we finished the first part of scuba training in the America, but we needed to do the “open water” portion in Thailand. The cab driver wants to charge us a lot, we haggle down a couple bucks. He turns out to be super-patient and helpful. By the time we get to the diveshop in the town, Bethie is having a proper meltdown, so she goes to this cafe and gets some pad thai while I sort out details at the dive shop. The manager advises us to spring for doing all of our dives off the boat and not to do the first two off the beach. We obliged and were glad we did. The cab driver waits for us the whole time.
We head back to our resort. I go swimming, and Bethie gets used to her new less-luxurious accommodations. We call the car to take us up to dinner. Whoah. Dinner at this place is great. In fact, the breakfasts were great too! We just had some little appetizers and happy hour drinks, but we had dinner there every night afterwards. The car drives us back down the hill to our hut, but not before we stop at the internet corner to check out room rates at the JW Marriott.
We had to get up early the next day to get on our shuttle to go back to the pier to get back on a boat to go back to the island we had just left, as that was where our scuba diving would be. It’s a big commotion to us, getting on the boat, getting settled, whatnot. We meet our dive instructor, a cagey Irishman named BJ. Behind his eyes, hints of an inscrutable vagabond lifestyle. He’s also sick with some sort of rare tropical disease.
The boat provides the air tanks, the ride, the helpers who get you in and out of the water, coffee, breakfast, lunch and sodas. 7-UP is the best soda for scuba. The boat ride back to the island takes an hour and a half. We spend the time going over gear set-up and routines with BJ.
Our first dive finds us doing some basic skills, and then doing regular old diving like anybody else would. Basically, just drifting around looking at stuff. (Obviously.) Bethie loves the skills - I think she thinks it gives the whole undertaking a purpose. She hates having to take off her mask underwater, but I don’t mind it so much. It’s novel how little time it takes to get comfortable with breathing underwater. Probably less than a minute of being panicked about it, and then it’s smooth sailing.
We come up when we’re out of air and the boat chugs over to pick you up. We have lunch on the boat that tastes great; because scuba makes you pretty hungry. On our next dive, more skills, more underwater world. We’re really doing it!
Back on the boat and we return to dry land. After diving, you get to drink Chang beers on the boat and just cool out. This diving thing is working out great.
We get back to the hotel, have a big dinner and the car drives us down to our hut.
The next day, rinse, repeat. This time the shuttle driver can’t find some people he needs to pick up. How are there two resorts with “boomerang” in the name? We get to the pier, and this time, Bethie and I are old salts at this stuff, taking our shoes off and putting them in the milk crates before we get on the boat like we go around doing that all the time. BJ was being sly because I guess the immigration people were on the pier trying to shake people down for not having the right work papers. We got out of there alright though.
We did some more skills and saw some more stuff. Saw an eel. Saw lots of fish. Saw one fish that looked like it was designed by committee. Saw lots of coral. Saw a shrimp thing that supposedly could punch you with the force of a bullet. Saw a fish that Bethie said looked like a grumpy grandpa. Saw a stingray. BJ helped us with our underwater camera and took tons of pics for us. We had lunch. We did another dive. This time, the current was mighty and we were doing a dive that was a little beyond our expertise. Bethie was fairly terrified. I was too, but only at first, then it was just like riding in a giant underwater waterslide.
We head back to the pier. BJ filled out our official paperwork and we drank celebratory scuba beers. We were official scuba pros! BJ did an awesome job.
Back in town, we stopped by the diveshop to do some more papers and then wander around buying scarves and t-shirts. Bethie loves haggling, but it stresses me out. Especially when I have to stand there with the money, calculating how much she can afford to spend.
Jamie from the diveshop drove us back to our hotel. A nice gesture. We immediately have a huge dinner. I ate curry at least once a day.
On Saturday, we had no agenda, but woke that morning and made a reservation for the next night at the JW Marriott. (Thanks, AAA!) Then we haggled with the cab guy and got him to drive us around for three hours. First we went to the Big Buddha. Lots of obnoxious tourists and monks having lunch.
The next stop was some elephants. I wasn’t in to this idea, but Bethie wanted to ride on one. We stop at the first place and the elephants look all miserable chained up on the side of a hill. We go to another place next to the shooting range/paintball/go-kart park and this place is a more highclass operation. Bethie feeds them pineapple quarters and bananas and we take pictures. We don’t ride on them.
We ask the driver to take us to shopping as we hadn’t picked up enough souvenir t-shirts yet. He misunderstands and takes us to this big gem factory like we want to buy a bunch of gems. I felt bad telling him we weren’t going in, as he might have gotten some money from them if we did. We got many shirts instead. I needed shirts, as I had run out. We bought a fake designer bag to carry all of our junk home. We stop at the 7-11 where the beers are crazy cheap and we also get some waters and cokes.
Back at the resort we savor our final time there, relaxing at the pool and reading magazines. No room to bring those mags home with us.
Took the car ride to dinner. Started with spring rolls for the lady, laab salad for the fella. Showed the waitress our underwater pics. Bethie operated, the waitress looked and I studied the scene. I have never seen a tiny Asian waitress so amazed by the underwater photos we had taken on a dive trip the day before. She was delighted. Bus ride back down the hill. The next day, the Marriott. Then, the Hilton. Then after, home.
The next day, we packed our bags and caused a lot of confusion for the desk staff at the Centara Villas by checking out early. Wound up with the same cab guy as the day before. Same awkward barter with the hotel people and the cab guy. Stopped again for t-shirts in patong, surprising the hawkers into touting too early in the morning. That cab guy must think we loooove t-shirts. (we do.) The drive to the Marriott takes a long time and might have been worth the money.
Oh, how young Bethie’s spirits were lifted upon arrival at this Marriott. I was really impressed too. It was extremely fancy and expensive with very nice people. The last place had finally gotten comfortable for us, but this move was well worth it. We sat by the pool from noon ’til around 6 doing close to nothing but swimming in the ocean for a bit. We abused the happy hour that night and split a dinner at the Italian restaurant. We half-heartedly tried to work our way into the Ogilvy Thailand fancy dinner party. It didn’t work. Went to bed early as usual and had a light breakfast for a change. Sat by the pool for four hours then cleaned up, checked out and spent a little time at the deserted but nice mall by the hotel. Played a heated game of Jenga in a bar.
Got gouged by the taxi guy getting us to the airport. Bethie’s poor packing finally came back to haunt us as we had to shift luggage around to meet the weight limit.
Hanging in the airline lounge, some young girl comes getting wheeled in by a wheelchair looking all rough and her two friends are doting on her. She somehow mustered the strength to raise herself and flop down on this couch while her friends attended her with 7-up and cold towels. Oh brother. She made everyone so uncomfortable. If you’re that sick, then don’t fly. If you’re good enough to fly, then buck up and don’t make everyone scared that you’re gonna give them H1N1 disease (in reality, I think everyone suspected her of just having drank too much.)
We fly. We get to the Hilton. We get our custom tailored stuff. We go to sleep. We leave in the middle of the night to go back to the airport. Dreadful flight home. We get super expensive Starbucks at the Tokyo airport. Back in America, we finally make it home and treat ourselves to a giant pizza. Good trip.
Our flight from Bangkok to Phuket was on Bangkok Airlines, Asia’s Boutique Airline, as they so frequently reminded us on the marketing and over the loudspeaker. One of the nice things about these Thai flights is the use of these special lounges the airline provides prior to your flight. You get to sit in there reading papers, checking the internet and eating little breakfast treats. Some of our flights, like this one, didn’t rely on gates to get you on the plane, but instead you ride on a bus to the plane on the tarmac.
It’s an hour or so flight to Phuket. When you get out of the airport you get harangued for cab rides. 600 bahts to the pier. (about $20.) We worked our way through that crowd to the “official” taxi stand, where people seemed more laid back. They charged us 450 bahts. The ride to the pier takes about an hour.
At the pier, we get settled in the office of the resort with cold drinks and cold towels. Bethie loved the cold towels, often asking for them at odd times, like in the middle of dinner or at places where they probably don’t even have any cold towels. Bethie also loves the little complimentary sandwiches they have laid out. Bethie also loves it when Thai folks respond to her requests in the affirmative “Yes can!”
I go to the 7/11 across the street and get some beers for the boat ride, but we don’t wind up drinking them until later. There were two important types of beers in Thailand. Chang and Singha. Singha seemed to be the slightly fancier, slightly less popular kind. I really gravitated towards the Chang beers. Bethie would ask for Chang Lights but not a lot of places had those.
We ride on a speed boat to the island. This takes about 45 minutes. By the time we got the The Racha, it was raining. This was disappointing. I was only a tiny bit worried. We wandered around waiting for our room to be ready. We had a lunch. We met with some other tourists and talked about the weather.
Our room was beautiful and they sprung for the flower petals on the bed in the shape of a heart seeing as how it was our honeymoon. We had the lowest grade room, but all the rooms were villas, so they were big and nice and private. This place was so incredibly nice. I think we could have spent the whole honeymoon there and been content.
That night, Bethie started getting cranky again because she was up past her 6PM bedtime. I was dragging too, but I wanted us to go to the big Thailand barbeque party! But it wasn’t that fun because, what with the rain, they had to do it inside. It was also very confusing how you were supposed to order. You pointed at a bunch of meats and seafoods on a platter and then they would grill your order. Then they bring it to you with some sauces. (Actually, I guess that doesn’t sound that confusing, but it was at the time.)
The next morning we woke up early to do an exploratory island walk. We walked through jungles. It was already hot. Past the resort are a couple more small rustic resorts and restaurants. On the other side of the island are a couple of other bays that were better for snorkeling.
We had breakfast. The breakfast here was also incredibly good. Except the sausages were just miniature hot dogs. We went to the beach for a while and then got massages. Thai massages are really the way to go. Completely modest, and a little bit violent. Followed with lunch. I stuck with the Thai food, persistently asking for it spicy, but it rarely was. I know supposedly they don’t like to make the food spicy for foreigners, but what if it’s just not that spicy to begin with? Bethie was loving the pad thai. She got that almost everywhere. It’s the perfect exotic pale and salty food for her.
After lunch we would eat gelatos and go back by the pool. Then early dinner and bed or just early bed.
On Monday we repeated our routine with the addition of me getting a pedicure. It was ok, but I probably won’t do that again. I think she cut them too short and she used some sort of buffing chemical on there to make them shine. After that, we borrowed some bikes from the equipment stand and went across the island for snorkeling. The first bay had lots of tiny little jellyfish in it that creeped us out. Bethie complained that they stinged her. I mostly just didn’t like looking at them.
The next bay was better. It was home to a different resort called Ban Raya that we thought looked fun. The bay was full of all sorts of creatures and we snorkeled for a real long time. It gets a little intimidating with all the dive boats cruising around, but I’ve got a feeling they’re pretty good about looking out for people in the water.
Bethie was impressed with how I turned my towel into a backpack for the bike rides.
We made our way back to the resort and had usual lunch then visited the other pool by our villa. This pool had some more features and Bethie and I spent time rolling down the infinity pool walls. I also did a beach attack on her by throwing a volleyball labeled “beach attack” into the water right by her chair.
We did pretty much all the same stuff the next day. I did a solo ascent of the tsunami evacuation route. I played with a different volleyball labeled “soft touch.” I drank some Changs and contemplated their labels. We saw a lizard run into the pool. The bartender said it was ok and that he was just taking a shower. We had a room service dinner that night and packed our bags.
The next day we did our breakfast and sat by the pool. We grabbed our bags and left The Racha at noon. Little did we know our trip was about to take a turn for the worse. Actually, I kind of knew it. This next place was cheaper than The Racha, and I had no doubt that Bethie would notice. But that will be a story for another day…
We get up on Monday and do our final, thorough packing check and Bethie’s mom drops us off at the airport. Bethie has on her “Just Married” shirt, but we quickly realized our dreams of being upgraded were pretty far-fetched. Not to worry, it’s only a 20 hour plane ride. We get bagels from the Great American Bagelry, because we would be leaving the country for an extended amount of time and needed something distinctly American as a sendoff.
We board the plane and find ourselves in a panic, as we are seated right next to a “person of size.” We approached the flight attendant, who acted like it was no big deal. We wound up with some nice seats in an exit row across from the bathroom.
We are roped into United’s frequent flyer program, which pays some dividends, but you have to put up with United’s poor service and not that nice of planes. This particular one didn’t even have TV’s in the back of the seats. You had to watch the overhead ones. But we passed the time with crazy airplane food, in-flight movies, books, mags and cocktails. I think the airplane bloody mary has got to be one of the best drinks going out there. So tiny, so simple.
Bethie sleeps a lot because she’s a good sleeper. I hardly sleep at all, because I am not. Bethie is not embarassed to wear one of them travel pillows. I am.
It’s 11 hours to Tokyo, and then 7 hours to Bangkok.
We get to Bangkok around 1 AM and take a taxi to the Hilton by the river. Bangkok is quiet and sleeping. The airport is really, really nice.
At the hotel, Bethie has a meltdown during check-in, on account of her travel exhaustion. the hotel is very nice. We get a high up room with crazy views of the city. We sleep.
True to my incredibly thorough travel itinerary, we get up around 6-7 every day. We eat the fantastic Hilton breakfast every day. I’d typically have one bowl of Asian breakfast, one plate American, and then waffles.
Day one found us taking a cab to the tailors, so I could order a suit. Victor helped us and everything was great. Bethie and I were both really excited. They recommended a women’s tailor that could duplicate a pair of pants for Bethie. We went there and that was great too.
We then, following the itinerary, took the train a couple of stops to a ferry landing, where we rode a canal boat for a while and then took a taxi to the Temple of the Reclining Buddha. He’s real big all tucked up in there with a huge building built around him to shelter him. It looked cozy. Thai folks are crazy for their Buddha’s, their temples and their king. I guess I should have realized that going in, but that stuff is EVERYWHERE and it’s brightly decorated and big.
After the Reclining Buddha, we were meant to take the river ferry back to the hotel, but I got confused as to where the ferry pick up was. (One of probably the only times that I got confused on this trip. Otherwise, I had this thing running like clockwork.) I had Bethie wandering with me through this vast and dirty produce market, and she didn’t like that. We wound up taking a taxi back to the hotel.
Spent the rest of the afternoon poolside, and had a club sandwich around 4. Went to the happy hour thing at the rooftop bar for free drinks and appetizers for dinner. In bed, probably by 7.
Up early the next day. Figured out the ferry’s better. Went to the grand palace and the temple of the Emerald Buddha. Bethie complains because they always make women dress modest and cover their legs and shoulders when visiting a temple. I don’t complain, because I’ve been telling Bethie all along she needs to dress modest in her life. Went to the Amulet Market. Had a bowl of soup in a tiny storefront. Meant to eat lots of street food, but it’s super-intimidating, not knowing what anything is and whether it’s good or bad or whatever. I should have tried to hire some sort of food tour guide to show me all the things there are to eat.
We then took the river ferry to the train and arrived early for our cooking class. Cooking class was fun and thorough, but also arduous. We made five different dishes.
We were exhausted after, so we made our way back to the ferry to the hotel. Went to bed.
Thursday, we spent the morning by the pool. Then we went to the Wat Arun, which is really steep and you get to climb on it. Then we went to the National Museum, which was more of the same stuff about buddhas and kings. Bethie was being a good sport, but she was really not into this. Then we tried to find Khao Sahn Road, but couldn’t. Took a cab to the train and the train to the tailors for the suit fitting. Everything was coming together perfectly, which is an incredibly weird feeling. But I guess that’s obviously what happens when the clothes are tailor-made.
Went back to the hotel and had room service while packing to leave the next day.
Wednesday before the wedding found us going out to dinner with the Spratlins and the Cowens at Tecalitlan. Not too intense.
Thursday found Bethie and her friendies going out for mani/pedi’s followed by a big pizza party for any wedding-goers interested in attending. The pizza was great and lots of people were there. The Bears lost. The intensity was increasing.
Friday, I had to go to a meeting and then run groomsmen to the tuxedo store to pick up rentals. Started to run out of time before the rehearsal. Sent groomsmen on the train and booked it home. Had a whisper fight with Bethie over which pants I was supposed to be wearing. The pressure was definitely on.
After the rehearsal, we went to the rehearsal dinner at Riva on Navy Pier. The manager of the restaurant was whispering to all the staff, “that’s the bride, so take care of her” as we were walking in, but nobody knew who I was. I kind of liked that… flying under the radar. Everyone ate and celebrated and some speeches were given. Brian said that I would have their support, but not their help. Michael said that Bethie peed in the car one time. Kelsey said that I tried to destroy the house, burn her toys and kill our cat, but that Bethie was great and she was happy to have her as a sister-in-law. Pete gave a rousing top 5 speech, and Mary Jo told us about “biss-a-biss.” Bethie stepped to the mic and I think started crying right away, so I had to grab it and do my magic. She did that a couple more times over the weekend, either crying or just enthusiastically shouting out one word at a time… “Yay! Love” “Wedding, y’all!”
Super intense now. I didn’t sleep well that night.
Saturday morning, Bethie and I did a walk to get the blood moving and work out some nerves. I drove her to her hair appointment and then spent the last few moments of bachelorhood playing xbox. I then went to pick up some groomsmen and realized Nick had been given the wrong color tie. I had a fraction of a second of panic, but picked up a new tie at the tuxedo store on our way out to the city. Got to Trish and Craig’s and had little sandwiches and beers. Put on a tuxedo. The photographer showed up and had us posing on the golf course. It was going pretty good, but then he told us to walk down the street “Reservoir Dogs” style and look tough. We obliged, but then asked if he could do some where we were all peeking out from behind some trees. That was a little more our style.
Headed to the church. It was all coming to a boil now. We sat in the community room, sanitizing our hands and reflecting on the word “community.” I got a small microphone put on me, and we all had some laughs over the fact that all of our pre-wedding conversations were getting recorded. We popped over to the gym to check out the junior high basketball game.
Then everyone lined up in the hall. Candy got a little teary right away, and I found that comforting. I guess because it meant I wasn’t the only one with a lot on my plate for the day. So we make our way down the aisle, followed by all the rest of the wedding party. I stand and survey the scene.
Bethie enters and I felt so disconnected from the whole place. It was like living in a movie. She looked beautiful and really took her time getting down the aisle.
The entire ceremony breezed by, at least for the folks sitting up on the altar. It was the full Catholic Mass, so I bet it went on for a while.
Afterwards, we did all of our church pictures and that did NOT breeze by. That took forever. And not because of the size of Bethie’s family but because of the seemingly random combinations of people. “OK. Let’s get two cousins, one mom, an aunt and a brother. Great. Now let’s get both moms, one dad, a sister and some nephews.”
Finally, we emerged and everybody stuck around for us (as they were instructed to) and waved sparklers in the air. It was great, but I was mortified that someone might accidentally catch Bethie’s veil on fire.
Everyone loaded their respective busses. We were on our way to take pics and the rest were headed for the reception. I brought my ipod and plugged it into the bus stereo. We had appropriate post-wedding tunes. Bethie had gotten me a six pack of Sierra Nevada for the beer cooler, which I had told her wouldn’t be enough. We were the last ones on, and our wedding party had managed to grab them all up. At least they’ve got good taste. I drank Modelos instead. All those beers made it so everyone had to pee, but we had to get through with pictures.
First stop. Bethie, I and the dog in front of the Chicago theater. At first, I was trepidatious. I thought people would yell at us for blocking traffic and causing a scene. But actually, everybody honks and claps and cheers. We were there long enough for only one crazy person to be bold enough to approach us. “Is this for real or are y’all doing a commercial?!”
Next stop, the bridge at Michigan Ave. We pulled up right behind another wedding bus that had just finished up. The dog didn’t make it in time for these pics. It started to rain, all of a sudden, out of nowhere. Bethie booked it for the bus with us not far behind. The rain screwed with our pics a little bit. Took some more pics in a parking garage for a gritty, urban feel. The dog would not cooperate with the photographer.
Twisted Bethie’s arm and the photographer’s that we might get one more set of the two of us in front of the Millennium Park fountains. Had to hustle. Getting sick of pics, but these would be the last ones. Bethie put on her cool, custom Converses, but I was disappointed with her sock choice.
Finally, we made it to the reception. I had a corned beef egg roll and some gin. The cocktail portion seemed super-fun and I wished I could have spent more time working that room, but it was time for dinner. Everyone files in up there and then we did our grand entrances. Our friend John did a great job doing our intros in the style of a game-show host. The dinner was great. I managed to eat all my food during the speeches. I’m good like that. JimP’s speech was great. Matt’s speech was great. Lynnie’s speech was great. She said I was the Abercrombie&Fitch of husbands. We got up for our speech, and I think I killed it. My only regret was that I started by saying we had some notes but that I wasn’t going to use them. Then I freeformed a bunch of great thank you’s, but I suspect most people thought I had all that stuff written down the whole time. I didn’t.
We worked the room for only a little bit, before dancing started. Time was really flying by now. We (I think) failed MISERABLY at our little couple’s dance, but that was probably the only hiccup on the night. Soon, everybody was dancing, and loving the band.
At one point, I stopped to chat with Dave, Tim, Rich, John, John et al and they were digging in to some scotch. I got one so we could do a toast and then I belted it. They were like “oh, we’re just sipping ours.” I had suspected as much. But I didn’t have time for sitting around sipping scotch all night - I had to circulate! I think I drank a ton, but being so the center of attention, you never really get drunk. I was all keyed up and happy to have so many people there.
Before you knew it, everything was over. We were at the bar downstairs enjoying a couple beers and wishing well along with the last of the well-wishers. I think we managed to send off most everybody into the night.
The next morning, I was exhausted, and I had pains in my back and shoulders I’ve never felt before. I think, from standing so tense for most of the previous day.
We managed to get all our stuff packed and out of the hotel. Bethie’s aunt had decorated her car “Just Married.” Cute. We got home, tidied our stuff, and did final packing for the honeymoon. Pete and Candy came by around 5 to do a handover of the house and the dog. We found somebody’s iphone in the street and I got in a fight with the guy’s mom over whose phone it was and would somebody please come pick it up. The guy came and picked it up.
We went to Bethie’s parents house for pasta and genuflecting on the previous day. Ate the last of the cake. It was SO good. We slept together in the same room(!) Then we went to Thailand.
Everything is intact. I’ve got lots to say and I wrote it all down in a reporter’s notepad. I’ve also got to cut together a video of my travel footage. It will be the “Citizen Kane” of vacation videos.
